In my humble opinion...

Why is it that when people ask for our opinion on a certain matter, and you candidly give it to them, they usually get mad or disappointed? After all, if you don't want to hear the answer, why do you ask the question?

If you ask the opinion of another person, you're looking for other alternatives that you might not be able to think of. These alternatives maybe useful to open your mind to a new solution that would have otherwise escaped you. Should you be angry if you don’t agree with the person? In the end, the decision is yours, and you're absolutely free to ignore any opinion that you find unsuitable to your case.

It is perfectly all right not to agree with me, or debate in a friendly manner, or even ignore what I proposed. What is not all right is to be angry and insult me, if my opinion doesn't suit you. Especially in my case, where I would have preferred to abstain and stay quiet.

However, I notice that unless I’m very careful in choosing my words, people are not prepared to hear something that is totally contrary to what they have already in their minds. In other words, most people are only interested in hearing an opinion if the answer is going to ratify the choice they have already made.

Some persons are completely refractory to opinions; nevertheless they keep asking for more. And when they get them, they go exactly the other way around. For these folks, it is even more suitable to express the opposite of what you think. This may lead them to choose the contrary of what you said, which is, in fact, what you really think.

Complicated, isn’t it? But in reality, it all amounts to a bit of arrogance. People ask for an opinion, but they keep thinking they know better, therefore, the effort of the one giving the answer is a complete waste of time.

One thing that is very amazing is that the one asking for an informed opinion, completely neglects the fact that you have made an effort to listen, to understand the issue and to carefully express your thoughts. All this is some precious time of your life that you dedicated to that person. Shouldn’t he or she be grateful to you for that, even when disagreeing with you?

A bigger problem occurs when you are foolish enough to give your own opinion without being asked. Oops! Most of the time people get really upset, and an unpleasant discussion follows. This happens even with family or close friends.  Already a long time ago I decided to refrain from doing this. Nowadays, I never volunteer my opinion to anyone on private or delicate matters.

I still think that the freedom of thinking and speaking gives me the right to express my humble opinion on matters that are of a universal nature. But even then, you can get into trouble. Take religion or politics, for example. People are very touchy about such subjects, and you have to be very careful when expressing your own thoughts and convictions.

If you look at blogs in the Internet, you will see what I mean. The amount of insults  that some of the bloggers receive in the comments to their articles is amazing. What happened to politeness and good behaviour? Can’t we disagree with someone without being obnoxious? Language, written or spoken, is a beautiful tool that should be cultivated with love and proficiency. But, in the world of today, disagreeing means confrontation rather than dialogue.

Do I want to waste my time? Do I need any aggravation? Surely not.  Someone once said: "If you're going to say what you want to say, you're going to hear what you don't want to hear.". This is absolutely true. Because of all that, I stay away from opinions. I keep my mouth shut, unless people I know very well insists in having my opinion. In this case, I make sure to tell them in advance that they are completely free to disregard it and forget it, and that they shouldn't argue with me about it.

Is it working? Well, not always, but at least it gives me the right to ignore their adverse reactions and put those persons in the black list so that I don’t waste more of my time with them in the future.

And you, what is your opinion on all this? ;-)